


No One I Could Think Of (I Could Stand Less Than You)

by toadreadytoparty



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-04-07 13:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19085668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadreadytoparty/pseuds/toadreadytoparty
Summary: Jake and Cody get stuck together at a party.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “There’s no one I could think of  
> That I can stand less than you  
> Don’t you want to touch my hand before you go?  
> I think I’m confused”  
> \- Coyote by Jenny Owen Youngs 
> 
> I hate myself lol.
> 
> There’s gonna be porn in the next chapter.

Cody is at some stupid event he doesn’t want to be at. Well, maybe he wanted to be there before, but he certainly doesn’t now, because through some terrible oversight, he ended up sat next to Jake Paul.

He could try to switch seats, but he’s here to network, and throwing a fit about being sat next to one of the top influencers in attendance isn’t a great look, so instead he straps himself in to play nice and spend a night pretending the man next to him hadn’t tried to attack him with one of the most bizarre callout videos he’s ever seen. 

The tension is...well, tense. They’re trying to avoid eye contact, avoid speaking directly to each other, but Cody can’t ignore what’s right next to him. He’s trying to make small talk with the person on the other side of him, who thankfully is pretending not to notice how awkward the situation he’s been placed in is.

He can do this. It’s only a few hours.

Cody orders another drink.

—

It’s Jake who makes the first move.

“Look man, I’m sorry if I threw you under the bus a little bit.”

“A little bit?”

“Controversy is good for your career though!” Jake says to him confidently, as if it was a totally normal way to justify trying to smear someone as a cyberbully. 

Cody doesn’t even know how to respond to that, “Whatever, dude,” he says, and turns away from the conversation.

—

An hour later, Cody is pretty drunk. Unfortunately, no amount of alcohol could change the fact that Jake Fucking Paul is sat next to him, now just as inebriated as Cody.

“Dude, I’m telling you, we have to collab! Imagine the engagement!” Jake is practically yelling at him, having spent the last several minutes trying to convince Cody that making a video together was a good idea.

“I just don’t think it makes sense—”

“We can do a video where we make up, people will love it!”

“Okay but—“

“We have to make it while the drama is still fresh so we can make sure to get the maximum engagement.”

“Dude, do you really just start these weird beefs for views?” Cody finally manages to interrupt, voice laced with irritation.

Jakes face falls. “No, dude, I, uh, I just don’t think it’s cool to pick on children—”

“What children?”

“Well uh—”

“There are plenty of commentary videos making fun of Jojo Siwa or Jacob Sartorius or fucking weird kids on Tiktok or whatever the fuck you could concern yourself with. What kids have I made videos about? Why did you single out my channel? Have you ever even seen one of my videos?”

“Yeah, and I think you’re a really funny guy! And you could be using those talents to spread positivity and—”

Cody laughs in disbelief. “That’s what I’m doing! I’m making people laugh! You know how many comments I get about helping people, saying I made them laugh during a rough time? Half the time even the people I make videos about reach out to tell me they loved it. I’m not trying to be mean, they’re just comedy videos.”

It’s clear Jake wasn’t prepared to be put on the spot. “Well, some of them are meaner than others.”

“Which ones?”

“For example, those ones about me were—”

“So you’re just mad I roasted you? Dude, how many people have made videos about you?”

Jake is struggling to respond. “Well when Jeff messaged me inviting me on, and I just didn’t appreciate what you were saying, I saw you were making these videos about other people too, like I said you’re a really funny guy, and I just—”

“Dude, you can just admit that Jeff gave you an opportunity to cause another controversy for views.”

“Well it helped you out, didn’t it? You gained a bunch of subscribers—”

“Yeah, and you made yourself look like a fucking idiot.”

Jake stammers for a moment, but gives up, finally turning away from Cody to look at his phone.

—

Two drinks later, and Jake plops a hand on Cody’s shoulder. “Dude, let me get your number so we can meet up for this collab.”

“I told you I don’t want to—” but Jake is already shoving his phone into Cody’s hand with the new contact page open. He sighs and puts his phone number in, knowing he’s going to regret it later.

“Awesome,” Jake says, and a moment later, Cody’s phone lights up with a text reading, “yo its jake 😜”

—

Cody has one more drink, and suddenly Jake’s arm is around his shoulder, face much too close for comfort. 

“Dude, this collab is going to be so good. We can do a whole thing where you apologize and—”

“Why would I apologize?”

“For being a bully.”

Jake is still leaning way too close to him, and Cody can smell the alcohol on Jake’s breath, although he’s sure he’s not doing too much better himself at this point. “Stop calling me a bully. I make comedy commentary videos. I’m not bullying anyone.”

“Dude, whatever, we’re gonna make this video and it’s going to get so many views.” 

Why is Jake so close?

“I’m not going to make a video where we fake making up for views, dude.” 

Jake actually looked a little hurt. “It’s not fake, see, we’re cool now, right?”

Why does Jake Paul give a shit what he thinks?

“I don’t really know how we’ve made up. You’ve mostly just spent the last hour trying to convince me to make a video with you that I don’t want to make.”

Jake frowns and turns away again.

—

Cody’s realizing he’s gotten a little more drunk than was appropriate for this event. He stands up from the table and heads to the bathroom to clear his head, trying his best not to stumble as he weaves through the room.

Once he gets to the bathroom, he heads for a stall and sits down, not particularly wanting to bother standing and balancing. He immediately opens his phone and shoots Noel a text.

“dude i think jake paul wants my dick lol”

It’s only a few seconds later when his phone lights up with a reply from—Jake?

Oh. Oh no. 

“what the fuck dude?”  
“you really think that?”  
“what the fuck is wrong with you?????”

Shit.

His last message was from Jake, not Noel, and his drunk ass was too stupid to notice what he was doing.

Cody takes that as his cue to get the fuck out of this party. 

He washes his hands and then tries his best to slip out of the building unnoticed. It’s late enough, he thinks, people are leaving, he’s boring looking, no one will notice him walking out.  
He’s outside ordering a Lyft and praying when he hears the door swing open forcefully. Turns out he isn’t so lucky.

“What the fuck?” Jake yells, looming over him.

“Dude, I don’t want to fight you—”

“Why did you send me that?”

“It wasn’t supposed to go to you, it was a joke—”

“You think being gay is a joke?”

“What?”

“You say you’re not a bully yet you’re out here mocking gay people!”

“What, I didn’t—”

“I’m not fucking gay dude!”

“Are you defending gay people or are you—”

“Fuck you dude!” Jake screams in Cody’s face, looking like he’s ready to fight.

Thankfully, Cody’s Lyft pulls up, letting him escape to safety. He climbs into the back of the car and turns to Jake. “Look, dude, I’m sorry I made you so horny,” he says before closing the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this made me lose my mind.

Jake Paul: yo its jake 😜 (8:04PM)  
Cody Ko: dude i think jake paul wants my dick lol (8:30PM)  
Jake Paul: what the fuck dude? (8:31PM)  
Jake Paul: you really think that? (8:31PM)  
Jake Paul: what the fuck is wrong with you????? (8:31PM)

—

Cody: oh fuck (8:32PM)  
Cody: i fucked up (8:32PM)  
Noel: What’s up? (8:33PM)  
Cody: IMG_1027.jpg (8:52PM)  
Noel: Holy shit (8:53PM)  
Cody: i meant to send that to you (8:55PM)  
Cody: dude i’m fucked (8:56PM)  
Cody: i sexually harassed jake paul (8:56PM)  
Cody: is he going to make a video about this oh fuck (8:57PM)  
Noel: Nah (8:58PM)  
Noel: Girls are getting drugged at his parties (8:59PM)  
Noel: Making a video like that would just call attention to his shit (9:00PM)  
Cody: you really think he’s smart enough to think that through (9:01PM)  
Cody: wait he just texted me fuck (9:02PM)

—

Jake Paul: i really just think you're funny dude it’s not like that (9:02PM)  
Jake Paul: i’m not gay (9:02PM)  
Jake Paul: i don’t take it up the ass or anything (9:03PM)  
Jake Paul: not that that’s a bad thing or whatever! (9:05PM)  
Jake Paul: if that’s what you’re into that’s fine (9:05PM)

—

Cody: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON (9:05PM)  
Cody: IMG_1028.jpg (9:06PM)  
Noel: Oh holy shit  
Noel: He does want your dick lol (9:06PM)

—

Jake Paul: i mean i tried it once and like it was ok (9:19PM)  
Jake Paul: with a girl! (9:21PM)  
Jake Paul: tana has a strap on (9:22PM)

—

Cody: IMG_1029.jpg (9:23PM)  
Noel: HA  
Noel: HOLY SHIT  
Cody: AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THIS  
Noel: This is amazing   
Cody: i’m going to ignore it  
Noel: What, you’re not trying to bone Jake Paul?  
Cody: not really

—

Jake Paul: cuz she’s been with girls too (9:42PM)  
Jake Paul: yeah i told her if she wants to fuck girls that she can cuz that’s hot lol (9:43PM)  
Jake Paul: we’re in an open relationship so i could fuck guys too but i wouldn’t (9:45PM)  
Jake Paul: i mean I’ve thought about it before but i like pussy too much lol (9:52PM)

—

Cody: dude (9:52PM)  
Cody: IMG_1030.jpg (9:53PM)  
Noel: Jake Paul is literally trying to fuck you right now (9:59PM)  
Noel: Holy shit (9:59PM)  
Noel: This is incredible (10:00PM)  
Cody: why is this happening to me (10:00PM)  
Noel: Bro that’s homophobe for “I want you to raw me” (10:01PM)  
Cody: gross (10:03PM)

—

Jake Paul: so yeah i’m sorry you got the wrong impression (10:05PM)  
Jake Paul: i’m not horny for you or whatever (10:06PM)  
Jake Paul: i’m not into dudes like that (10:07PM)  
Jake Paul: i just think you’re a cool guy and i wanted to clear the air (10:08PM)

—

Cody: dude he’s still fucking texting me (10:08PM)  
Noel: What’s he saying? (10:10PM)  
Cody: IMG_1031.jpg (10:11PM)  
Noel: “I’m not horny for you” HAHAHA (10:11PM)  
Noel: Sure dude (10:11PM)  
Noel: Cody do the boy a favor (10:13PM)  
Cody: i’m not going to fuck jake paul (10:14PM)  
Cody: imagine though (10:16PM)  
Cody: that’d be funny as hell (10:16PM)  
Noel: You gotta do it (10:17PM)  
Cody: shut up dude (10:17PM)  
Cody: i gotta drink more lol i can’t deal with this shit (10:23PM)

—

Jake Paul: you’re really funny and handsome (10:27PM)  
Jake Paul: so you have a lot of potential (10:28PM)  
Jake Paul: i wanted to help you out (10:30PM)  
Jake Paul: i don’t know why that makes it seem like i want you to fuck me (10:32PM)  
Jake Paul: cuz it’s not like that (10:32PM)

—

Cody: IMG_1032.jpg (10:33PM)  
Cody: maybe cuz you won’t stop sending me this shit (10:33PM)  
Noel: Oh boys a bottom (10:34PM)  
Noel: Go get it cody (10:34PM)  
Cody: god what if (10:36PM)  
Noel: Lol you’re thinking about it now (10:37PM)  
Cody: shut up (10:39PM)  
Cody: maybe i am, so what (10:45PM)  
Noel: I won’t judge (10:47PM)

—

Jake Paul: cuz i’m not gay you know (11:02PM)  
Jake Paul: i mean i watch gay porn sometimes but (11:03PM)  
Jake Paul: ugh nevermind i’m so drunk lol (11:04PM)

—

Cody: NOEL (11:04PM)  
Cody: IMG_1033.jpg (11:04PM)  
Cody: i can’t believe this is happening to me (11:05PM)  
Noel: HOLY SHIT DUDE (11:05PM)  
Noel: HAHAHAHAHA (11:05PM)  
Cody: he really is hitting on me (11:07PM)  
Noel: YOU WERE DOUBTING IT? (11:08PM)  
Cody: i don’t know dude! (11:08PM)  
Cody: jake paul wants to fuck me (11:12PM)  
Cody: what the fuck (11:13PM)  
Noel: Just do it (11:15PM)  
Cody: he’s fucking nasty (11:18PM)  
Noel: It’s worth the story (11:20PM)  
Cody: are you actually telling me to do it (11:25PM)  
Noel: I don’t give a shit what you do (11:31PM)  
Noel: I’m just saying (11:32PM)  
Noel: You have an incredible opportunity here (11:33PM)  
Cody: i need more alcohol (11:33PM)  
Cody: dude what if i do it (11:50PM)  
Cody: why am i considering it (11:54PM)  
Noel: Lol (11:57PM)  
Noel: Go for it (11:57PM)  
Cody: what do i even say (12:02AM)  
Cody: this is so fucked up (12:05AM)  
Cody: i can’t believe i’m thinking about this (12:06AM)  
Cody: i’m too drunk (12:07AM)  
Noel: Just invite him over (12:10AM)  
Cody: but how (12:10AM)  
Cody: oh my god (12:13AM)  
Cody: i think i’m gonna do it (12:18AM)  
Cody: what is wrong with me (12:19AM)  
Cody: oh my god (12:19AM)  
Noel: Dude (12:26AM)  
Noel: I’m telling you, just do it (12:26AM)  
Noel: The heart wants what the heart wants (12:27AM)  
Noel: And your heart wants jake paul’s ass (12:27AM)  
Cody: ew dude (12:27AM)  
Cody: don’t say that (12:28AM)  
Cody: i think i’m gonna do it (12:37AM)  
Noel: Dude I don’t care (12:38AM)  
Noel: I need to go to bed (12:38AM)  
Noel: Let me know how your date goes lol (12:39AM)  
Cody: fuck you dude (12:40AM)

—

Cody Ko: dude just come over (12:53AM)  
Jake Paul: ok (12:53AM)

—

When Cody opens the door, Jake actually looks nervous. 

“You want a beer?” 

Jake nods with just a little too much fervor for someone whose face is already drunkingly flushed; too anxious for a man who is usually the epitome of confidence. Cody motions for Jake to come in and leads him to the kitchen, hands him a beer out of the fridge, and Jake proceeds to drink the entirety of it in one swift chug. Cody laughs nervously, confused and maybe a little concerned.

“Dude, calm down. Not everything is a challenge video.”

Jake is slightly out of breath, lips glistening from the beer. “I needed it.” Cody hates that he thinks Jake looks hot like this.

“You seem pretty drunk already.”

“I don’t think either of us would be in this situation if we were sober.”

Fair enough.

They stare at each other for a moment, an awkward silence filling the air. 

“So,” Jake fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt, shifting his feet, “why did you invite me over?”

God, Cody does not want to do this. Fuck that.

A drunken confidence runs through Cody and he grabs Jake by the back of the head, pressing their lips together. It must have been the right choice; Jake places a hand on Cody’s back, pushing their bodies together, his other hand gripping Cody’s face, and he kisses him desperately, hungry and too eager, a rush of feelings he was clearly barely holding back. When Cody runs his fingers through Jake’s hair, he’s just happy it doesn’t feel as unpleasant as it looks. 

A tidal wave of conflicting emotions rolls through Cody’s stomach; confusion, disgust, arousal, confidence. The knowledge that he has this effect on one of the most notorious men on YouTube is admittedly powerful, but unbelievable, and he feels like he’s in a regretful wet dream more than reality. It’s hard to focus on the present when you’re kissing a man who might as well be a cartoon character. 

Cody opens his eyes, just to make sure this isn’t a hallucination, but fortunately Jake is still there. Fortunately? Unfortunately? Honestly, Cody’s not sure which possibility he’d prefer at this point. Maybe it would be better if this was an alcohol-induced dream. He’s still kissing with his eyes open, and ok, he needs a moment. He pulls away, and Jake Paul is standing over him, staring at his lips, panting, flushed, hair messier than usual, looking at Cody like he’s never been more aroused in his life. 

Cody doesn’t know what to do. His mind is racing, too many thoughts yet nothing to say. He can’t just stand here. He has to say something.

“Have you ever sucked dick before?” 

Sure, why not say that?

Jake looks away to avoid eye contact, considers his answer for a moment, and shakes his head.

“Well, I guess you’re about to learn.”

Why did he say that? Who is he?

Jake’s eyes widen, and his gaze is moving down Cody’s body, 

How did that work? 

Jake pulls him back into a kiss, a little less anxious, but just as hungry. Cody grabs the back of his head, pushes Jake toward his neck so he can _breathe_ for a second. He focuses on the sensations, the lips on his collarbone, the dizziness in his head from the alcohol, the erection tenting his sweatpants. Jake is pressing their bodies together, solid and warm, grinding their crotches together.

“Come on,” Cody says, and they’re walking to the couch, stop just in front of it to resume the kiss. Jake’s hands are on Cody’s hips, around his waistband, inching them down, and Cody decides to help him out, tucks the elastic under his balls.

Jake is not a weak man, a solid 3 inches taller, younger, more committed to his fitness routine, and Cody is fully aware he would lose that fight; so when Cody pushes him onto his knees, and Jake crumbles like a house of cards in front of him, he knows Jake wanted it. Then Cody sits on the couch, and Cody’s dick is fully hard and inches away from Jake Paul’s face, who looks like a twink in a gay porno, and the whole situation feels like a gay porno, and it’s so gross, but kind of hot, and Cody is overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions.

“Do you want it?”

Jake nods, like he’s just begging someone to cum down his throat.

Cody smirks. “I thought you weren’t gay.”

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” and then Jake is taking him into his mouth with no hesitation, gripping his shaft, mouth on his head. The visual image of Jake with a dick in his mouth is so beyond what he’s capable of dealing with right now, so Cody chooses to close his eyes and lean back and go back to focusing on the sensations.

Warmth, wetness, suction. Of course Jake can’t be chill about anything, so he keeps pushing himself to take more until he’s gagging, but he doesn’t pause for a second before going back in. His technique is enthusiastic, although lacking in refinement, but God does it feel good. It’s a really good blowjob. Suspiciously good.

“You fucking liar.”

Jake responds with a questioning hum.

“There’s no way this is your first time sucking dick.” Cody pushes him off. “Were you lying about not liking anal too?” He’s still surprising himself with his forwardness, but it’s worked so far.

“Uh,” Jake hesitates, “I might have hooked up with a guy before.”

Of course he has. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

Jake thinks for a moment, like he’s considering whether he wants to tell the truth. “Yeah.”

“Alright, hold on,” and Cody gets up to get condoms and lube, taking his pants fully off while he’s in the other room. When he comes back Jake is sitting on the couch, jeans already off, palming himself through his boxers, and for a moment that previous feeling of disbelief comes back, because Jake Paul is sitting almost naked on his couch and he really is about to do this.

Cody takes a deep breath to center himself. “Turn around,” he instructs, if only so he doesn’t have to look directly at Jake’s face anymore, and Jake obliges, getting on his knees, bent over the back of the couch. Cody pulls Jake’s boxers down, spreads his cheeks apart, and yep, there it is, Jake Paul’s asshole. It looks clean, and he doesn’t immediately smell shit, so Cody’s expectations are already exceeded knowing Jake’s meeting the minimum of hygiene standards.

“You ready?” he asks, and Jake responds with a whine that probably means yes, so Cody pours some lube on his finger and inserts it. “Feel good?”

“Mhm.” Cody adds a second finger and Jake is moaning, pushing back onto his fingers. “God just fuck me already.”

“I want to make sure you’re ready, since you don’t have a lot of anal experience, right? Or do you do this more often than you let on?”

Jake turns around and glares. “I’m ready.” Alright.

Cody rips a condom open, rolls it on, grabs the bottle of lube. He pours some on his hand and slicks himself up, and then he’s lining the crown of his organ up with Jake’s opening and slowly sinking in. 

“Fuck yeah,” Jake groans, “feels so fucking good.”

Cody grabs Jake’s hips and finds his rhythm, plunging his weiner into Jake’s buns over and over again. 

Jake is moaning with every thrust, and he reaches down to jerk himself off. “Oh my god, you’re amazing.”

As Cody gets closer, he picks up his pace, slamming into Jake with more force.

“Fuck yeah, fuck me harder, daddy, I’m so close,” and wow, okay, Cody’s just going to ignore that one, and then Jake moans loudly as he cums into his hand, and Cody finishes as well after a few more thrusts.

Cody throws the condom away and then flops down on the couch dramatically next to Jake, the exhaustion from his long night finally setting in. He closes his eyes, taking a moment to catch his breath and let the sweat evaporate from his body, and then suddenly arms are wrapping around his waist, and a head is laying on his shoulder, and oh no, Jake Paul is trying to cuddle with him.

“Hey man, it’s, uh, I’m a little too sweaty for this right now.”

Jake pouts but he backs off, although he leaves a hand resting on Cody’s shoulder. “That was just so incredible, dude. I’m so glad we did that, it was fucking amazing, don’t you think?”

Ugh. “Yeah, man, it was good.”

“That was the best I’ve ever been fucked, it was so good.”

“Well I’m glad I could, uh, make you feel good.”

“Yeah you did great,” and Jake still has his hand on Cody’s shoulder, a sensation Cody’s becoming increasingly annoyed with. “It was like, magical.”

Oh my god. Cody can’t do this.

“Yeah, it was great. Listen, dude, I gotta get to bed, though.”

“Oh, yeah, for sure, let me get a Lyft,” Jake says, voice laced with disappointment. What was he expecting, an invitation to stay the night? But he gets out his phone and orders a ride, and Cody hopes they can just sit here in silence while they wait, so he closes his eyes again so he can relax.

“So do you wanna do that collab?”

Cody’s going to have an aneurysm.

“Maybe. Get in touch with me later.”

“Cool, cool,” and then silence sets in again. “I was thinking we could—”

“Let’s talk about it later. I’m exhausted.”

For the next couple of minutes they sit in the most awkward silence Cody has ever experienced, until Jake finally stands up.

“Well, my ride is here. Uh, I hope you have a good night.”

“Have a good night.”

Jake walks toward the door. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Where around would they see each other? “Uh-huh.”

Jake puts his hand on the doorknob. “Alright, bye.”

“Bye.”

He opens the door. “Sleep well.”

“You too.”

He steps outside the door, says one final “bye,” and then finally shuts the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am not accepting criticism, this is a perfect work of art.

**Author's Note:**

> If there’s anything wrong with it then please acknowledge I wrote this on an iPad with no keyboard and I am not accepting criticism because this is a perfect work of art hope you enjoyed


End file.
